It’s been quite some time since I spent solid hours on the blog. Not that I din’t want to write, but because I din’t think about it. All this time, I din’t know what happened to me, or should I say, what hit me. It is like I was transferred to an entirely new world without a return ticket. It was like I was not going to be the same person again. Everything seemed to be destined, and everyone seemed to be playing in adherence to it. It was so perfect, that I accepted it with all I had, and started to churn out colors that matched up to where I was.
Today, it seems my transfer is over, and here I am, back to what is supposed to be my very own world (or can I say so? What do you really own in this world? Or to be more precise, who?). I was so immersed with the Maya of all that was going on so long, that I have fully forgotten myself. Now when I look back to what I was, I dread being what I am today. Somewhere deep inside me is a guilt, an endless stream of sorrow, that anyone can understand, but no one can help. Here and there are glimpses of happiness, wonderful people who have come across, wonderful places I have been to. But, if you ask me, I should simply have rejected the transfer order! I should have just been satisfied with being me.
Confused? Thinking “is this guy mad?” ? I am, now.
What I want to do today, is to simply find the lost me. Everything in me has changed. Things I loved doing a few years back, are becoming a burden (most of them already have). Things I hated a few years back have become a habit. I don’t know where it is leading me, but I know one thing for sure, I want to bring back the original me.
It’s not that I am not happy. No. I’ve spent some of the happiest days during these days, felt happier talking to a few people, felt on top of the world when a few things happened, but I just wish that was all. I wish the other things that happened to me never happened at all. I just wish my mobile was switched off on certain days, for it initiated everything.
Life has been both kind and cruel, as with everyone. Just that it teaches you things that schools or colleges don’t. It taught me, too. But, I have learnt it the hard way. Every day is a new lesson these days, believe me or not, and subsequently, each day is becoming a struggle, as I am fighting hard to make sure I don’t lose the guy called Sriram. I will, one day, but till then, it is seriously going to be the ultimate test.
Today, most of the times, I ask myself a question. What is the most important thing in life? What does a person live for? Or Whom does a person live for? What do you mean by being a good human being? Selfless? Magnanimous? What do you exactly mean by falling in love and living up to it? What do you do to be a good son? Why do I work? Why do I live? And so on…..
So friends, I just want to stop thinking about all that. My brain is overloaded (what is missing is just smoke from the head!!). I just want to tell you what life has taught me the hard way.
- · Nothing in this world can decide about you. You have to do it yourself
- · No matter what you like or whom you like, keep some place in your heart for you, and don't allow anyone inside it. After all, your heart has 4 chambers, that leaves you ample space!!
- · Good times and the happiest times can immediately become just an illusion. It just wholly depends on you to materialize it. So, keep your heart in the right spirit.
- · Don’t think about what you don’t want to happen. The more you think you don’t want something, the more it will come to you.
- · There are some people who can simply walk into your life without permission, screw up your life, and then walk away as if nothing had happened. So, beware. Make sure you have the right people around you.
- · There are people who really care for you, who do not try to justify, who really worry about you. Try to reciprocate, because that is the best way to thank them for being with you, and to thank God for having them be with you.
- · There is no one in this world as your own. Everyone has his/her own stomach, eyes, mouth and of course, brain and heart!
- · If you are in a relationship, never question its genuineness. Because if you do, by the time you get the answer, it will be too late.
- · There is nothing in this world as a 50-50 commitment. So, commit into something if and only if you know that you can keep up to it. Especially, if your commitment is going to involve someone else.
- · Above all, this is only for the gents out there.. There are two things, which, if you understand, will give you an easy and good life – 1. Yourself and 2. The Girl in your life. Both are the most beautiful topics in the world to understand.
Sorry if this article was a trouble reading. If it is, I’m just trying to be me, checking my second chances in writing.. I hope to improve..
Cheers,
Sriram
